Game Dev Takes Pro Revenge On Rude Lawyer

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    Font - 1 Oh my God, we're so sorry we blocked your doorway. Now go get your ear muffs. I've had a long respectable career in game development. A couple of years ago l've abandoned it for a cushy corporate job, and now spend most of my days missing gamedev. This story takes place about 10 years ago at the apex of my career. I was the lead on a AAA project. Our parent company, for which videogames was just one of many lines of business, was going through changes. We had to move offices three times
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    Font - The basement we were given had been empty for years, save for the most distant office. You entered the basement through a dimly lit staircase. Then, after you snaked through a horror-movie-like maze of corridors and interconnected small rooms, you'd eventually arrive at the farthest room of all. A golden plaque was on the door. Trademark Compliance Department. Literally no one I knew was ever aware of Trademark Compliance, even though trademarks were a pretty important part of everything
  • 03
    Font - The lawyer flipped his friggin sh when he learned people were being moved into "his" basement. For a couple of weeks, he tried desperately to prevent the move, getting all the way to the CEO. The tiny leathery lawyer amazed everyone with his deep booming voice that would climb and climb and climb in pitch as he yelled and screamed and threatened. So, all his efforts being for naught, our stuff was moved into the basement over one weekend. We spent the following Monday and Tuesday dealing
  • 04
    Font - While we were trying to figure out what the h II happened, a demigod VP, as close to the company CEO as it gets, walked into our lowly basement trailed by the beaming lawyer. Apparently, our desks blocked his door. He even had pictures. The demigod hadn't seen them prior to walking down. Once he saw dozens and dozens of close-ups of the desk corner, the VP's face grew less certain. Our desk was blocking his doorway by less than an inch on the side with the hinges. The door opened away fro
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    Font - I'm (generally) a people pleaser. I can even maybe sympathize with an old guy freaking out when a gaggle of man-children in ironic T-shirts wreck his long- established way of life. I figured it was time to modify the seating chart. Two people would be a pretty tight fit for that weird room, and I also didn't want my quiet flower-child artists anywhere near that loon. I apologized to the lawyer and told him I was moving two people out and moving just one person in, making sure it was as un
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    Font - The lawyer answered my apology with a triumphant "serves you right" and "that's what you get for messing with adults" and "welcome to the real world" and "this is far from over". He then ordered me to wait "right! here!" and came out with a tape measure. We snaked through his entire path from the staircase to his office, measuring clearance from desks and chairs and people's items, and the lawyer booped desks and monitors and garbage cans, and pushed people sitting in their chairs as if t
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    Font - Now, the issue of sound was discussed more than any other as we were planning the temporary move. Our sound designer had to listen to all sorts of sounds at full volume on different types of speakers, not just on his headphones. If sound was designed on headphones, and you played it on surround speakers, you'd sense it. Our old office had a professionally soundproofed room. Even then that was a pretty unpleasant thing. Huge sounds could not be heard, but could be felt. Like an inaudible e
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    Font - We made the walkway semi-permanent with construction tape. I took pictures and sent an update email to everyone reporting that A, we pledged to keep all pathways clear at all times, and B, the offending room would have the two girls move out, and only have the sound designer move in. VP replied with "thank you, that's great" See how the email listed the sound designer in an off- hand way? This was not my first rodeo. We moved the sound designer and all his equipment into the room. The nex
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    Font - High pitched screams in the distance. Footsteps. My door flew open and the lawyer ran in screaming WHAT THE FUUUUCK. He dragged me across the street to the VP's office. VP was not there. The lawyer screamed and jumped and stomped his little feet, left voicemails, then retreated to write an email to the VP, with CC list possibly going all the way up to President Obama and the Lord Commander of the Night's Watch.
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    Font - I quickly replied that 1, sound design issues had been extensively discussed and were deemed a necessary evil; 2, I notified everyone before the fact the sound designer was moving to that particular room, and 3, if I had to keep moving people around every day, I wouldn't be able to hit my milestones. VP replied the next morning saying "he's right about milestones, besides it's temporary anyway". And so, for the next seven months, Compliance Department was subjected to 8 hours a day of non

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